Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
