i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
