Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
