So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
