Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
