As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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