Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
