I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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