You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
