he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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