This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The best revenge is premature balding
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
