I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
