it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
