you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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