Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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