Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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