return my video game
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
