yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
