It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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