based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
