So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
