Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
