We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
