i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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