I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
BRING THE BAGELS
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
