i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
