literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
