Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
