carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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