He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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