just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
