herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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