i don't like sucking hair
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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