I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
