Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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