The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
