she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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