I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
