I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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