May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
