Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't deserve a penis
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
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