pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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