i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
