now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
