Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Two words: nipple clamps
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