i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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