the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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