That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
