I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
