I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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