I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
