i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
