I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
