Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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