You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
