she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
